Smackdown results *Possible spoliers* from tapings

[Stephanie McMahon's sidekick!]

SmackDown! Results -- 05/29/03 (31st may in the UK)
Mr. America IS NOT Hulk Hogan, Mr. McMahon IS a pervert

As promised, Mr. America took a lie detector test this week on SmackDown! According to Mr. McMahon, the test was supposed to prove that the man under the Mr. America mask was Hulk Hogan. Unfortunately for McMahon, the test did just the opposite.

After a series of questions, Mr. America was finally asked if he was Hulk Hogan. Mr. America answered "no." The lie detector revealed that Mr. America was telling the truth. Not happy with the results, McMahon asked Mr. America the same question several different ways. Each and every time, the lie detector stated that Mr. America was telling the truth -- he is not Hulk Hogan.

Finally, Mr. McMahon attempted to prove that the lie detector was broken. In doing so, he attached himself to the machine and told the police officer overlooking the process to ask him any question at all. McMahon passed some rather easy questions. Then it was on to the hard stuff -- Mr. America grabbed the microphone and began to ask his own series of questions. At the end of the session, WWE fans learned that the following items are true about Mr. McMahon:

Mr. McMahon is the biggest A-hole on God's green earth.
Mr. McMahon is a sick, perverted, power-hungry, freak.
Everything Mr. McMahon does is for himself, and he never does anything for the fans of WWE.
Mr. McMahon pleasures himself to naked pictures of Torrie Wilson. In fact, he pleasured himself in the limo on the way to the arena Thursday night.
Mr. McMahon fantasizes about women like Mae Young.
After the lie detector test, an angry Mr. McMahon ran in to General Manager Stephanie McMahon's office. He blamed his daughter for being embarrassed. He then told her that things were going to change for the better starting next week on SmackDown!

Elsewhere on SmackDown!, fans were treated to a video montage of former WCW star Ultimo Dragon. At the end of the video, it was stated that Ultimo Dragon would be coming soon to WWE.

In the main event of the evening, all three members of F.B.I. were scheduled to battle Brock Lesnar and the Undertaker. Before the match, however, Nunzio announced that the giant Big Show would be taking his place in the contest. The match ended by Show pinning WWE Champion Lesnar after a devastating chokeslam.

Match results:
Nidia defeated Torrie Wilson after Jamie Noble interfered in Nidia's behalf.

Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri defeated Team Angle by disqualification. For the second week in a row, Guerrero framed Team Angle when he pretended to be knocked out by the Tag Team Championship belt held by Haas.

Sean O'Haire defeated Chris Benoit via pinfall.

The Basham Brothers defeated Spanky and Rikishi via pinfall.

Big Show, Chuck Palumbo and Johnny Stamboli defeated WWE Champion Brock Lesnar and Undertaker via pinfall.

[Stephanie McMahon's sidekick!]

SmackDown! Results -- 06/05/03
Mysterio wins the Cruiserweight Championship

Rey Mysterio came into SmackDown! hobbling. The past few months have been physically and mentally challenging for Mysterio. Not only was her seriously injured after a brutal attack by the Big Show. but a groin injury he recently suffered has slowed him down. But Mysterio wouldn't let this hamper his quest to capture WWE gold on Thursday night. In an epic match, Mysterio rolled up Matt Hardy to become the new WWE Cruiserweight Champion! Mysterio, competing near his hometown of San Diego, celebrated with his son Dominick in the ring while his family cried with happiness from their ringside seats.

Also, Mr. McMahon himself pointed to Zach Gowen as a person who refused to let his physical shortfalls stop him. The WWE Chairman initially called Gowen an American success story, but then Mr. McMahon's sinister side came out. He said that he would give Zach a chance to accomplish his dream of becoming a WWE Superstar. But to do that, he'd have to beat Mr. McMahon in an arm wrestling match next week on SmackDown! "You do look like you have two arms," Mr. McMahon mocked. While he continued to talk trash, Roddy Piper snuck behind Gowen, allowing Vince to push the one-legged teen to the ground in humiliating fashion. To cap off the embarrassing spectacle, Vince mocked Gowen by saying he has as much chance of winning next week's arm wrestling match as a one legged man has in an ass-kicking contest!

Kurt Angle felt so pumped up about returning to SmackDown! that he even ordered his theme music played a second time after his entrance so he could lead the crowd in the "You suck!" chant. Angle quickly stated that he intended to become WWE Champion again. In an encounter with Brock Lesnar, he thanked the current champion for his support while in the hospital. Kurt said that Brock had earned his respect and he thanked him for giving him the toughest match of his career at WrestleMania XIX. However, the Big Show earlier had tough words for Kurt, and it appears that Brock, Angle and Big Show may all be on a collision course with the WWE Championship in the middle.

As if Mr. McMahon hadn't caused enough trouble with his treatment of Zach Gowen, Vince also targeted his own daughter, Stephanie. Vince told the SmackDown! General Manager that she needed help around the office, and he had hired her a new personal assistant: Sable! Stephanie was clearly unhappy about this decision, but her father dismissed her protests as mere jealousy over Sable's good looks!

Match results:
The Undertaker def. Chuck Palumbo

Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri def. the Basham Brothers

John Cena def. Chris Benoit

Rikishi & Torrie Wilson def. Nidia & Jamie Noble

Rey Mysterio def. Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Championship

[Stephanie McMahon's sidekick!]

Big Show destroys Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle & Mr. America;
Angle makes his in-ring return!

June 19, 2003
"Unfinished Business” was the order of the night as SmackDown! exploded from San Antonio, Texas! In the case of the Big Show, that meant unleashing his wrath upon WWE Champion Brock Lesnar, as well as Kurt Angle and Mr. America! As for Angle, his unfinished business had to do with returning to the ring for the first time since WrestleMania with a hard-fought win over Charlie Haas.

With the ring reinforced after last week’s unbelievable match, Big Show and Lesnar collided once again with the WWE Championship on the line. The match came to an end when Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin interfered on Show’s behalf, but that was only the beginning of the incredible action.

Kurt Angle immediately hit the ring to help out Brock, just as Brock had helped him earlier in the show. But Big Show’s fury would not be denied. He viciously chokeslammed Angle, and when Mr. America tried to make his presence felt and bodyslam Show, the star-spangled Superstar received a chokeslam for his troubles as well.

Earlier in the night, the former Team Angle hit the ring to verbally run down their one-time leader, and called him out. Refusing to take their insults lying down, Angle challenged either of them to a match, his first since suffering serious neck injuries in his match with Lesnar at WrestleMania. Haas accepted the challenge, and it was on!

Kurt proved that he hasn’t lost a step during his recovery, delivering an incredible match with the young Haas. In the end, Angle’s experience won out, but Shelton Benjamin wasn’t impressed, and tried to put the boots to the Olympian after the match was over. That’s when Lesnar, Angle’s former adversary, hit the ring to defend the man he’s developed a hell of a lot of respect for in recent weeks.

Poor Zach Gowen was the victim of sadistic head games from Sable and Vince McMahon. This week, that meant Sable pretended to seduce Gowen, only to rebuff his advances at the last minute and cruelly humiliate him. Vince and Sable were pleased, but SmackDown! General Manager Stephanie McMahon was not. Angrier at her father than anyone has ever seen, Stephanie demanded that he leave Zach alone and let him live out his dream of becoming a WWE Superstar.

Also on the program, Ron Simmons & Bradshaw reunited to save the Undertaker from another beatdown at the hands of the Full-Blooded Italians. It looks like the APA is back in business! The tournament to establish the first WWE United States Champion was also kicked off, with Chris Benoit defeating tag-team partner Rhyno in an opening match. We’re sure this didn’t do much to help their strained partnership!

Sean O’Haire scored an impressive upset victory over Eddie Guerrero, one half of the WWE Tag Team Champions. Of course, Rowdy Roddy Piper spitting tequila in Eddie’s face from ringside didn’t hurt! And a special promo was aired announcing the WWE debut of international sensation Ultimo Dragon next week on SmackDown! from Madison Square Garden.

Match results:
Undertaker pinned Nunzio after the Last Ride in 3 minutes.
In an opening-round match of the United States Championship tournament, Chris Benoit defeated Rhyno by submission with the Crossface after 12:43.

In a non-title match, Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio pinned Kanyon with the West Coast Pop at 4:49.

Kurt Angle pinned Charlie Haas after an Angle Slam in 9:43.

Billy Gunn pinned Jamie Noble as a result of a Famouser after 4:11.

Sean O’Haire pinned WWE Tag Team Co-Champion Eddie Guerrero with the Prophecy (modified fireman’s carry slam) at 3:12.

Brock Lesnar defeated Big Show by disqualification in 7:18 due to outside interference from Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin, to retain the WWE Championship.

[Stephanie McMahon's sidekick!]

The Debut of the Dragon

June 26, 2003
The World's Most Famous Arena was rocked by a blowaway SmackDown!, as a titanic six-man tag-team clash pitting Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle and Mr. America against Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin and Big Show -- as well as the in-ring return of the APA and the WWE debut of the worldwide legend Ultimo Dragon -- nearly tore the roof of New York's venerable Madison Square Garden.

The biggest shocker of the night, however, came at the end of the huge six-man tag match. Mr. McMahon dragged a beaten Zach Gowen down the ramp, distracting Mr. America, causing him to fall prey to a chokeslam by Big Show and costing his team the match. Mr. McMahon then continued to pummel a helpless Zach, causing SmackDown! General Manager Stephanie McMahon to come to his defense. Mr. McMahon then announced that Zach could have his coveted SmackDown! contract -- if he and Stephanie could win a handicap match against the mammoth Show next week on SmackDown!

It wasn't the first time in the evening that Mr. McMahon had offered Zach a contract. Earlier, a seemingly contrite Mr. McMahon called Zach and Stephanie to the ring and delivered what appeared to be heartfelt apologies to both for the events of the past few weeks. When Zach furiously rejected Mr. McMahon's apology and read him the riot act, Mr. McMahon offered Zach his contract -- in exchange for Zach's membership in the elite "Mr. McMahon I disagree Club." Zach instead delivered a crushing shot to Mr. McMahon's "grapefruits," earning the Chairman's wrath.

The sold-out Garden was also treated to the incredible debut of international legend Ultimo Dragon, who put his incredible high-flying arsenal on display while defeating MF'er Shannon Moore. WWE Cruiserweight Champion Rey Mysterio watched from the announce table and later climbed into the ring to pay his respect to Dragon, while a less-than-enthusiastic Billy Kidman watched from a front-row seat, with a hot babe on each arm, seemingly unimpressed by Dragon's prowess.

In other action, Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri successfully defended the WWE Tag Team Championship against Rowdy Roddy Piper and Sean O'Haire, living up to their "Lie, Cheat and Steal" maxim when Tajiri delivered his green mist to the face of Piper, who then fell victim to Guerrero's Frog Splash. Matt Hardy Version 1.0 advanced in the United States Championship Tournament, defeating Rikishi to join Chris Benoit in the next round. John Cena, the self-proclaimed "most-respected veteran on SmackDown!", celebrated the one-year anniversary of his answering an open challenge from Kurt Angle by extending one of his own, which was taken by exciting rookie Orlando Jordan. Jordan gave Cena all he could handle before losing via rollup and a handful of tights -- at which point the authentic most-respected veteran on SmackDown!, the Undertaker, chased Cena from the ring and gave some encouraging words to Jordan.

'Taker stayed in the ring and was joined by the returning APA -- who came back last week to save 'Taker from a 3-on-1 assault by the Full-Blooded Italians. The awesome trio of Undertaker, Bradshaw and Ron Simmons defeated the FBI when Bradshaw delivered his lethal Clothesline From Hell on Johnny "the Bull" Stamboli.

Also, Jamie Noble and Nidia suddenly found themselves rolling in green when a lawyer informed Noble that his Aunt Lucille had passed away, leaving him $827,000.

Match results:
John Cena defeated Orlando Jordan
The Undertaker and APA (Ron Simmons & Bradshaw) def. the Full-Blooded Italians (Nunzio, Johnny "the Bull" Stamboli and Chuck Palumbo)

U.S. Championship Tournament First-Round Match: Matt Hardy Version 1.0 def. Rikishi

WWE Tag Team Championship: Eddie Guerrero & Tajiri def. Rowdy Roddy Piper & Sean O'Haire

Ultimo Dragon def. Shannon Moore

Shelton Benjamin, Charlie Haas & Big Show def. Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle & Mr. America

[Stephanie McMahon's sidekick!]

CAGED AGGRESSION!
July 31, 2003

The new WWE Champion was at SmackDown! to celebrate his fourth reign at the top. Of Angle's four WWE Championship runs, he claims that this one is far and away his favorite because he wasn't sure if he was going to be able to get in the ring again after WrestleMania, let alone win the title.

Before Angle could go any further, his friend Brock Lesnar hit the ring. Lesnar accepted the defeat, but challenged Angle for the title soon after.

Enter Mr. McMahon. According to McMahon, Angle went to Vince and pleaded to him not to give Lesnar a re-match. Angle heartily denies the statement. McMahon goes forward with naming an alternative match nonetheless. Rather than Lesnar vs. Angle, Mr. McMahon teamed the two powerhouses together to take on a team of his choosing. That team was Big Show and A-Train, which Lesnar and Angle went on to defeat.

After the match, however, Mr. McMahon came to ringside to tell Lesnar he was scheduled for a match next week on SmackDown! against him, Mr. McMahon... in steel cage!

Also on SmackDown!, Torrie's night of passionate sex with Jamie Noble turned naughty when Billy Gunn entered the picture. By the end of the night, it was Torrie, Noble, Billy and Nidia all sharing the same bed.

Match results:
Rey Mysterio defeated one-half of the WWE Tag Team Champions, Shelton Benjamin, via pinfall.
Chris Benoit defeated Doink the Clown.

U.S. Champion Eddie Guerrero defeated Tajiri.

Shannon Moore defeated Zach Gowen.

John Cena defeated Orlando Jordan.

WWE Champion Kurt Angle & Brock Lesnar defeated Big Show & A-Train.

[Stephanie McMahon's sidekick!]

CAGED DESTRUCTION!
August 7, 2003

Brock Lesnar and Mr. McMahon were supposed to be enemies. They were supposed to settle their score in a cage match at SmackDown!. Much to everyone’s surprise, however, they conspired to give WWE Champion Kurt Angle one of the worst beatings of his life.

The cage match between Mr. McMahon and Lesnar did happen, but it ended differently than anyone could have imagined.

Early in the evening, it looked as if the match would not take place as Brock Lesnar was discovered unconscious in the back. At the time, no one knew what happened, but it seemed as if Lesnar would not be able to wrestle.

He did recover, however, and his match against Mr. McMahon with Angle as the special referee went off without a hitch. Both men slugged it out for a while before Lesnar prepared to finish Mr. McMahon off with an F-5. As he had him over his shoulders, though, he appeared to pass out and crumpled to the canvas. Mr. McMahon covered Lesnar for the pin, but Angle refused to count, instead calling for help from the back. With Angle’s back turned, Lesnar sprang to his feet and F-5’d the WWE Champion. Then he proceeded to beat him senseless, telling Angle all the while that the WWE Championship belongs to him.

Also on SmackDown!, John Cena gained a measure of revenge against Undertaker by beating him in a hard fought match. The ending was not without controversy, though. Albert interfered during the match, laying the Deadman out with a vicious kick to the chops.


Match results:

Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero fought to a no-contest

Chris Benoit and Tajiri defeated Eddie Guerrero and Rhyno

Nunzio defeated Zach Gowen

Jamie Noble defeated Doug Basham

Charlie Haas defeated Rey Mysterio

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